Some people believe that the hook up culture is the only way to go. Or that all they can expect from a man is half of him. Some ladies out there think they don't even need a man and wonder why they would ever want to get married. Well, everyone has their own opinions, ideas and experiences. These are mine. I have grown up with a wonderful example: My dad.
When I was a little girl, I dreamed about my wedding day and being a mom. Just like my mom. She got married to my dad and became Mom. That's how I was introduced to marriage and family; the example of my parents. Their example, teachings and harmony at home was how I knew that I wanted the same thing when I grew up. I was completely my daddy's girl, but I loved my mom and somehow knew that I was to inherit what she had: like her, I was going to grow up and become a woman, wife and mother. I was going to find a good man like my daddy and we would get married and have kids and I would be the mother and the man who became my husband would be their father. I knew what kind of man I should marry because of the influence and mostly, example of my father.
|Aha! Ryan, you didn't think that his would make it on the blog when you pulled the face, did you?|
jk. Here's the real pic.
As I said, I have always been a daddy's girl. I loved it when my daddy would bring me a treasure from his business trips such as one of those little poppers, a hat, or my space place-mat. I loved it when he would call me his song bird, when he would sing and when he would convey that he was pleased when I sang or that I ought to keep singing. I hated it when he took me to my room, sat on my bed with me and talked about my bad behavior and how I needed to change it, but I am really grateful he did that. I hated that he made me sweep the front porch when the missionaries were coming over, but I'm grateful he was firm about it and stuck to his guns. I loved that he took me trick or treating and that one year he dressed up as buried treasure by somehow putting gold coins all over his clothes. I love that he worked, even when he was out of a job. I loved that when I was a kid he took me on the roof to fix the shingles after a big windstorm and torn them up. I love that he never spanked me, but when I was in trouble I knew I had to shape up.
I love that he took me to work with him on occasion and sometimes we would get a burger. One time when we were coming back from work, I asked if we could go out to eat. It was dark, so surely we would get there after dinner. He responded, "No. Your mother has made a good meal for us." His dear wife had worked hard on making dinner for us and we weren't going to go out to eat. He mowed the lawn and did house fixing stuff instead of paying someone too much to do his job. He took us camping and on other family trips. He played guitar and sang with us kids and my mom. He led us in Family Home Evening where we would sing, read a scripture and have a lesson about how to better follow Christ and become more like He is. He served in church capacities. Instead of coming home to the T.V. he would come home to his family.
He took my mom out for dates every Friday. They regularly went together to the temple. He always honored my mom and his marriage to her and specially celebrated their anniversary. He would take my mom to see plays, go out to eat somewhere special and fancy, he would bring her roses. Every Mothers Day growing up, he would wake us kids up early and bring us downstairs to plant flowers in some flower pots for her. When he came home from work, us kids would race to the door and lovingly attack him as he found his way to my mother, "Hi Julie." and a hug and a kiss.
|Wake up! It's Christmas!...almost. Some mornings if we were not in a mood to get out of bed, dad would prep for his shave and come ask us who wanted a kiss.|
|Dad has taught all of his kids. |
This is the night Todd became my sister's fiancee.
The steady influence, example and work of my father have really built me. He is half of who I am. I am not telling you that to be a good man, husband, or father, a man has to have the same characteristics, or learning, or experiences as my father. Each man has to be himself. His best self.
Growing up, I saw my dad was good with a camera, a guitar, his voice, his brain, his hands, his character, but most importantly his roles as a husband and a father. I don't know that I really realized he was such a good husband to my mom, but as I have listened, looked and learned about people in this life, it is completely obvious. Some things are so obvious, you don't realize them until you see, hear, or otherwise find out about counter-examples.
Because of him and my mom, I had a stable and secure life. I never had to worry. When I was about 4, I worried, "What if my dad smokes and I don't know it? What if he is not faithful to my mom?" Children care about what happens with their parents. The truth is my dad was not that kind of man and I trusted him. He was never the kind to go do things that would lead to addictive behaviors. He didn't flirt with danger. I still trust him. He lived and lives a solid, moral, family and God life. If he was ever afraid of our family not making it, whether it be financial, or some other way, I never knew it. Maybe some men out there are scared? Hold on. You can make it. You are everything to that family of yours. They depend on you.
I love my dad. He isn't perfect but he works hard, shows his dedication and becomes greater every day. He loves God and leads our family to Him. He loves my mom. I am a girl, but I am my daddy's girl and because of him, I grew up knowing what a happy family is like. I grew up knowing how a man is supposed to be and how he ought to treat me and what to look for in a husband. Because of my dad I have a better life.